It took several days of prayerfully seeking how to write this page not knowing exactly how to reduce into words something so miraculous it seems impossible for me to attempt such a task. I prayed for God to show me what to say and let me go back to the Christmas holiday season of 2005 when I received a most unexpected "call" that would change my life and many others, especially my family. It was such a big deal that I started a journal within days; its was my "building an alter of remembrance" of something supernatural taking place and I didn't want to miss it and share with whoever would listen.
The last several days I have taken time to read the early entries of my journal. It took me back to the Sunday night Dec.18, 2005. The night I woke from my sleep in the very early hours of the morning with an image of a Asian baby girl. Just her face; non-descript but definitely the face of a small Asian female baby. It gets more interesting; I was crying when I woke. I went back to sleep and didn't say anything the next day and just went about my day. I need to mention, I was intentionally seeking God to show me what He wanted me to do with the rest of my life. I was really asking God to please redeem the time I had left here on earth; to serve Him unlike the previous years I had wasted serving myself.
Then Monday night around 3am, I woke again sobbing in my pillow. I was actually concerned I would wake Kat and have to answer -" what is going on over there?". Fortunately, she remained asleep and we woke Tuesday morning and again went about our day with me not saying anything. However, I began wondering what was going on. I have to say, I was looking forward to going to bed Tuesday night because even though I was crying, it was a joyful, peaceful experience. Each night I would put in my ear bud and listen to WMIT 106.9, singing along in my spirit worshiping the Lord until I would drift back off to sleep. You might have already guessed it; it happened for the third night in a row and by this time I was sure something very cool was going on but just not sure what. I prayed almost continuously on Wednesday seeking the Lord to reveal to me what was going on.
When Wednesday night rolled around, I think I was so excited and/or anxious, I don't think I actually went to sleep that night. Somehow I knew I needed to tell Kat what had been going on even though I still wasn't sure myself. I can't explain it, but the afternoon of the 27th I just casually told her and the peace that only the Lord can grant, allowed me to calmly share with her. I also believe it was the Lord who prevented her from ordering a complete evaluation of me too make sure I wasn't going crazy. As I described this reoccurring dream or vision and the joy and peace associated with it, we for the first time in our 16 year marriage ask if it could have something to do with adoption. My journal entry from that day stated "Katherine listened carefully and in her normal way, she needed to process it". We agreed to pray in earnest to ask God to speak to each one of us. We had already agreed to follow Him but we wanted to make sure of what He may be asking of us.That day's journal entry specifically said I want Katherine to communicate her feelings and thoughts through the process and she will be posting soon speaking from her point of view.
I probably should have mentioned, Katherine and I had completed the wonderful study by Henry Blackaby, "Experiencing God". We were about to face our crisis of faith. Would we obey or not. I'm a simple guy and it will all come down to this for me (Kat also):
Obey = God's blessings --- Disobey = miss God's blessings.
There were a couple of things I knew for sure, if God was calling us to adoption, He would not just call one of us, it would have to be both of us. I also knew I need to give Kat her space, I never ever want to influence her so I told her it would be best to pray separate from one another for a while as we ask for God's discernment.
Over the next 3-4 days I began to poke around on the Internet learning about adoption and specifically the horrible situation the "one child only policy" in China had orphaned an estimated 1,000,000 baby girls. They are called the "lost girls of China" and there is actually a book by the same title which does a good job portraying the complexity of this social policy and it effects. God was softening my heart in a way I could not have even begun to have thought of just several weeks earlier.
God began to show me that adoption is the heart of the Gospel and it is a beautiful picture of what he had done for me just a couple of years earlier. As I began to look at how adopting a child much younger from our youngest, James and Nathan (10 yrs old), it was going to mean some big changes to the "plan" I had worked out in my head. Maybe our empty nest years were before we had children not what most couples look forward to in their later years. Financial commitment, I will probably need to work longer and retire later. Having Kat "all to myself" is a great incentive. To be able to travel and go on mission, ect..... But then God allowed me to see what the rest of my family might have to sacrifice - not that any of my children have ever mentioned anything but total joy and excitement in the days to come, I knew that I could not ask them to sacrifice if I wasn't totally willing to myself. I say these things because they were real at the time. The amazing thing is God allowed me and each one of us ultimately wrestle with this "self" and by His grace revealed the true meaning adoption is; an ultimate picture of God's grace.
In an effort not to go on and on (which I easily could), within in about 3-4 days Katherine received her confirmation from the Lord. We had both received "a most unexpected call". We told God that day, here we are, we know You have spoken to us and we are willing to do whatever you ask, knowing You will provide the way and the blessings You have in store for us. There was and continues to be an overwhelming sense of gratitude and thankfulness to God for trusting us enough to be the earthly parents to one of His precious children. A child not born flesh of our flesh, nor bone of our bone but miraculously by the Spirit of the living Lord Jesus Christ, into our hearts and family forever.
Thank you Lord for adopting me into Your forever family,
David
Ps: We had no idea what lay ahead, but we started charging with a sence of urgency and absolute certainty God had called !
"But this is what I commanded them, saying, 'Obey My voice, and I will be your God, and you will be My people; and you will walk in all the way which I command you, that it may be well with you.' Jer. 7:23
